Saturday, October 18, 2008

arise

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking
with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be
taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach
them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another
country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From
the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says "Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance
of justice."

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons
of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a
great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women,
to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each
bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a
general congress of women without limit of nationality may be
appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at
the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the
alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement
of international questions, the great and general interests of
peace.



***julia ward howe

frugalmama tip 1: cheapass playhouse

MAMAS:

i recommend getting a 9.99 Rubbermaid brand "closet"...ours is for bastians clothes, but try telling that to river.

if it really WERE his playhouse i could NEVER get him out of it.

it has a polymer navy cover with a zipper.

cheapness and GOODNESS...

thought for the minute

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

dear twelve year old steffani

Dear Twelve Year Old Steffani...

yes, you! you in your powder blue bedroom with your oversized knockoff swatch watch wall clock and your white, pink, and seagreen boom box with pursestraps that incessantly plays R.E.M and other things none of the other kids have heard about...

you of the classical music and the miami university public access radio and the secret delusions of grandeur.

you of the sea breeze and sassy magazine....

someday when you are thirty two years old you will assist a physicist at oxford in england write the last sentence of his doctoral thesis. he will ask YOU if it is grammatically correct.

you will have regular communication with a lawyer four years your senior who absolutely and positively tells you that you are the most intriguing woman he has ever met.

You will have traveled this nation from one coast to the other to the other to the other and you will have driven most, if not all of the way.

one night in omaha nebraska you will be pursued by the lead singer of a rock and roll band who will steal pages from your notebook and write songs based on your poetry.

So much is going to happen to you in the next twenty years! It is almost a pity that so far all of this has had to do with MEN, for the most part. But you are sitting there wondering if you will ever find ANY one to ever love you or respect you or care about you at all...Girl, are you in for it!

Twenty years from now you will have been married, divorced, widowed, and remarried and you will be the mother of three gorgeous children.

You were right about the jesus stuff AND about the bush stuff. Good girl!

well, i have to go for now...two of those gorgeous children of Ours NEED us...umm...you! me!

:)

i won't tell you what they look like or even if they are boys or girls or such things as that! have fun dreaming up names!

if i told you that you are beautiful it could screw up the crooked, gorgeous path it will take you to get here...so i won't.

you'll figure that out, in the by and by.

All my love,

Thirty Two Year Old Steffani

ps

you live to see the end of the white patriarchy! but don't tell anyone! just keep that silent little grin to yourself!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

dire! terrible! dreadful! horrible! sickening! putrid! emergency!

i have felt like this since the week after john kennedy jr died in 1999 when i heard speculation that gbII would be considering a steering committee to run for the presidency in 2000.

now i get to watch his sick, evil ass telling us ALL how dire! terrible! dreadful! horrible! scary! sickening! putrid! emergency! condition the treasury is in?!

what a crock of shit.

other people haven't, and as my mother tries to console me, never will, take/n it this difficultly. been in this much turmoil over POLITICS. but what i cannot seem to explain to my mother (or anyone else, i imagine) is that i can SEE the macrocosm in the microcosm.

and that it both pressures and alleviates my internal natural DEPRESSION to watch and read and learn and think and CARE so much...

i see the microcosmic "gubment" as a macrocosmic whole of those of us who have left the greater EVIL unchecked in our greed and one-up-manship-consumerism and our media fed minds and hearts...

and our IGNORANCE...god bless our ignorance (if you are into that god blessing type thing)...

fed to us for generations have been NOTHINGNESSES....and now we are nothings... (or so the EVIL would have us believe)

we are all, each of us, nuclear powerhouses inside our own minds and souls ...who have been reduced to thinfleshed, big fatted, nothingheads.

self included.

i have been handed down chemical depression on top of it all. i have suffered, maybe not MORE than you, but a dire! terrible! dreadful! horrible! sickening! putrid! emergency! LOT...

and now i watch the evil glimpsing comeupance on themselves (i hope!) and i wish and i sit and meditate that the little nuclear shack that sits on my shoulders can cook up enough ENERGY to push them toward THEIR doom and the GOOD of us to our promiseland...

and i KNOW i am not ALONE. but i also know that OTHERS have not quite put the two strings together to tie the knot of certainty. that there are some who still disbelieve themselves because the EVIL force has convinced them that they are worthless. that they need someone to tell them that they are worthy..

MY FRIENDS, you are priceless jewels in my eyes. EVERY SOUL ON EARTH who is working for good...who is living for TRUTH, carries a nuclear birthday candle inside. you know yours, right?!!! you KNOW your goodness and YOUR truth...right???

don't forget! do not let it be washed away by television and lust and codependence and selfabuse and chemical anomalies in your brains! :)

i am just writing the golden rule here. i am doing to you what i wish would be done to me. i am sitting here for x number of minutes and reminding us all to REMEMBER! to THINK! and to CARE! and to be POSITIVE! and to find your HAPPY FOR NO REASON place and go there :)

and wait for the rest of us all... and be in that place reaching out and REMINDING others...

for there is no such thing as EVIL

and there is no such thing as MONEY

and there is no such thing as CONTROL

and there is no such thing as POLITICS

and there is no such thing as ATTACHMENT

and there is no such thing as SECURITY

TERROR is a state of mind that EVIL is selling, at the moment, for some supposed 700 BILLION DOLLARS that does not exist, will never exist, and has never existed.

are you buying? seriously?

are you resisting the impulse buy?

you really don't need another 700 BILLION DOLLARS of debt-air-vapor do you?

but it looks so good sitting there on the shelf by the cash register (election?! ha!)??

please see it for what it is and call your senator...i dare you! it feels like prank calling when you were in school...

or see it for what it is and go out in nature and BREATHE and COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS...

or see it for what it is and lay down and cuddle with someone you love....(preferably your partner or children or pet or something but i am no one to judge haha!)

or see it for what it is and KNOW that EVIL will ALWAYS be Discovered, Judged and Rot...

believe that (i am not black but buhlee dat would be how it is pronounced if it were typed as i thought it ;) )....

and that the good little birthday candle in your heart and soul and mind (and solar plexus and third eye, my faves) is one of all the atomic birthday candles in all eternity....and that that is a wonderful thing!

don't forget!

happy depression!

whoops i mean... be all dire! terrible! dreadful! horrible! sickening! putrid! emergency! because television told you so...

and john mccain told you so...

and bush told you so...

and cnn told you so...

(anyone who tells you to feel all dire! terrible! dreadful! horrible! sickening! putrid! emergency! *TERROR in any form included* is EVIL and you are GOOD...i know, it takes some getting used to and orienteering, but if i can figure this out and 13 days out of the month live in a fog like a putrid quicksand then YOU can get THERE)

happy depression! (FINALLY something i can dig and understand about POLITICS hahahaha!)

love,

steffani (the magnificent)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

steffani's OLD skool poem of the day!!!! *Penelope*

just found these again whilst digging through my BOOKS to put them on their SHELVES (imagine how wicked awesome this is after 15 years of wandering...just try to imagine!) and thought it could be FUNNY to post them on my blogs... just for OLD times' (desperate intellectual exhibitionalist's) sake...

bon appetite!



Penelope

She always says bless you to sneezes

She whirls constantly out of control

Headlong into Hindsight

Hurt

She cries tears of maddening anger and bliss

stagnant in mind and body and soul

But always chasing after the Sunshine

Unrequited

She's had years and years of practice

read millions of words and phrases

said more in her life than most others

Unknowing

She feels like she did as a six year old girl

Like she's living what she's gonna be when she grows up

Only now she can't stop writing it down

Unleashed

She only desires love and dreams of fame and silence

Understands Evil and Freedom and Intelligence

Potential beats in her head like a drum

Pounding

There may be hope for her later

She's way too wrapped up in the Now

Herself, her old Lovers, and Others

See if you're not touched by It

Anyhow....

*written january 23 1997

aged 20 years old

Monday, August 18, 2008

my old myspace quote (so's i have it)

"Boldness has genius power and magic in it. Until one is committed, there is hesitancy; the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness: The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issue from the decision"

Friday, August 15, 2008

big pink posterboard saga of 2008

on the morning of mothers day 2008 i had one of my famous "nervous breakdowns".... (yay)

later on that day, i went on a 6 hour trek to target with sebastian. my "present" from jonathan was that he would watch the babies while i went to target (which at that time i didnt know how to find and it ended up taking 2 hours to drive there haha) because his mother had sent me a ($25)target gift card for my birthday a couple days prior.

i wandered around target for a while and during so bastian finagled me out of $4, so i had $21 left in my target card i had driven 2 hours to spend.

i decided that the only thing that would make it even half way worth it is if i bought SOMETHING i have NEVER bought before...no toiletries or cleaning supplies or duplicate pajamas or crap from the dollar bins...

so i ended up buying a CREATE YOUR OWN FAIRY TALE book kit. i figured it would maybe cross that "learn how to play even though you are a grown up" thing off the list. (and especially since i never "learned how to play when i wasn't a grown up)

whimsy, man, dig it...

anyhoosies...i had a few bucks left and was NOT going to go back to target anytime soon. so i bought three big pieces of hot pink posterboard (and a neon green one for bastian) in order to somehow MAP OUT MY LIFE on them so i would have a HUGE, HOT PINK DISPLAY OF WHAT WOULD BEGIN TO MAKE ME HAPPY OR MAKE ME FEEL AT ALL IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE (ha!)

now, we all know that i am a granolawoohoo type girl who OF COURSE has read every SELFHELP book in the world and has of COURSE heard and read and even seen in her own life, stories of people who have written to-do lists (both miraculously grand and also small) and lost them and then found them later and they had DONE EVERYTHING ON THE LIST without remembering that they had made the list...

so...at that time, may*, i was still shopping at walmart. i was still smoking and drinking soda. i was living in a house that did not feel like home at all. (and on and on and on)

*things have changed since then!

i sat down the next morning and had ANOTHER (famous) nervous breakdown because i couldnt seem to MAP OUT MY LIFE ON PINK POSTERBOARD, like i had planned.

(HOW WAS I GOING TO CONTROL MY LIFE IF I COULDN'T CONTROL MAKING LISTS?!?!?!?!)

this posterboard got rolled up and taped (by jonathan at some point, its his tape not mine) and put in the spare room which was the JUNK ROOM (the robins egg blue parlor) and we found it day before yesterday when we moved things in order to get the new carpet....(do you know that feelings behind my whole CARPET THING?!?! DO YOU??!!!)

anyhoosies...here it is, folks...the pink posterboarded masterpiece entitled:

THINGS I WOULD NEED TO EVEN START

(start what??!! dear god, steff! what is the what?!?!)

*denotes things that have either been acquired or accomplished thus far (THREE MONTHS= 90 DAYS) later....

enjoy! (its better and kookier and more psychotic on posterboard but you should get the point)

FRONT PARLOR

*Organized

Furniture bought

*Floor re-done or recovered

New Front door

(2 out of 4)

LIVING ROOM

*Painted

*Floor Redone

*Computer Desk

*Organized



KITCHEN

Painted

*Cabinets Cleaned

*Organized

Cloth Cover for Side Without Door Under Sink

*Kitchen Chairs

(3 out of 6)

BACK ROOM

Organized

*Bins, etc

Floor Covered

*Dryer

(2 out of 4)



BASTIAN'S ROOM

*Bed (exactly the one he wanted)

*Entertainment Center

*Organized

A/C electrical

(3 out of 4)

OUTSIDE

*Lawn Mower

*Weed Wacker

*Jonathan committed to yard work

(3 outta 3...+ i am composting and we have a beautiful fire pit)

CAR

*Insurance

*Ohio Liscence (voter registration)

Paid off (5 more payments!)

New Plates (expire 2-09 haha)

*Maintainance (oil change, etc)

(3 out of 5)

MISCELLANEOUS STEFFANI BUSINESS:

*Stick with current bill budget

*Find New place to buy formula

*Start Making Bellas Baby Food

*Find New Way About Diapering (partially cloth bella AND found biodegradable disposables)

*Start Recycling

Vaccuum

Wall Fixed On Stairs

Window Replaced in Bedroom

Space Heaters

Hunker Down for Winter Before Its TOO late

*Find Hypnotist to quit smoking (didnt need one)

*Find Hypnotist to quit soda (didnt need one)

*get a way to drink water (we are now an 8 gal water/week family)

so...there it is folks. there is so much more blessingwise...but thats the rundown straight from the pink posterboard idea of the centrury.