Our Year Of Living (Beautifully) Without WalMart

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

dear twelve year old steffani

Dear Twelve Year Old Steffani...

yes, you! you in your powder blue bedroom with your oversized knockoff swatch watch wall clock and your white, pink, and seagreen boom box with pursestraps that incessantly plays R.E.M and other things none of the other kids have heard about...

you of the classical music and the miami university public access radio and the secret delusions of grandeur.

you of the sea breeze and sassy magazine....

someday when you are thirty two years old you will assist a physicist at oxford in england write the last sentence of his doctoral thesis. he will ask YOU if it is grammatically correct.

you will have regular communication with a lawyer four years your senior who absolutely and positively tells you that you are the most intriguing woman he has ever met.

You will have traveled this nation from one coast to the other to the other to the other and you will have driven most, if not all of the way.

one night in omaha nebraska you will be pursued by the lead singer of a rock and roll band who will steal pages from your notebook and write songs based on your poetry.

So much is going to happen to you in the next twenty years! It is almost a pity that so far all of this has had to do with MEN, for the most part. But you are sitting there wondering if you will ever find ANY one to ever love you or respect you or care about you at all...Girl, are you in for it!

Twenty years from now you will have been married, divorced, widowed, and remarried and you will be the mother of three gorgeous children.

You were right about the jesus stuff AND about the bush stuff. Good girl!

well, i have to go for now...two of those gorgeous children of Ours NEED us...umm...you! me!


i won't tell you what they look like or even if they are boys or girls or such things as that! have fun dreaming up names!

if i told you that you are beautiful it could screw up the crooked, gorgeous path it will take you to get here...so i won't.

you'll figure that out, in the by and by.

All my love,

Thirty Two Year Old Steffani


you live to see the end of the white patriarchy! but don't tell anyone! just keep that silent little grin to yourself!

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