Our Year Of Living (Beautifully) Without WalMart

Saturday, May 30, 2009

you can take the girl out of the hillbilly but you can't take the hillbilly out of the girl

(scroll down to the purple box on the right-------------> to pause the nine inch nails for THIS one :) )

i fricken LOVE this song....read as a poem, i coulda written it, were i so inclined. the redneck factor just ratchets it up a notch or ten. i cannot hear it on the radio without bawling.....

I said, Grandpa what’s this picture here
It’s all black and white and ain’t real clear
Is that you there, he said, yeah I was eleven
Times were tough back in thirty-five
That’s me and Uncle Joe just tryin’ to survive
A cotton farm and a Great Depression

And if it looks like we were scared to death
Like a couple of kids just trying to save each other
You should have seen it in color

This one here was taken overseas
In the middle of hell in nineteen forty-three
In the winter time you can almost see my breath
That was my tail gunner ole’ Johnny McGee
He was a high school teacher from New Orleans
And he had my back right through the day we left

And if it looks like we were scared to death
Like a couple of kids just trying to save each other
You should have seen it in color

A picture’s worth a thousand words
But you can’t see what those shades of gray keep covered
You should have seen it in color

This one is my favorite one
This is me and grandma in the summer sun
All dressed up the day we said our vows
You can’t tell it here but it was hot that June
That rose was red and her eyes were blue
And just look at that smile I was so proud

That’s the story of my life
Right there in black and white

And if it looks like we were scared to death
Like a couple of kids just trying to save each other
You should have seen it in color

A picture’s worth a thousand words
But you can’t see what those shades of gray keep covered
You should have seen it in color

You should have seen it in color

thank you, timothy leary (and cousin martin) i couldn't've said it better myself ;)

curviden larva in decayed wood Pictures, Images and Photos

The Post-Larval Must Be Very Cautious in Communicating with Larval Humans

Exo-psychology holds that the human larval exists in a reality defined by the four survival imprints. Although the brain receives 100 million impulses a second, mundane consciousness is limited to signals which have been conditioned to one of the four imprinted game-boards.

Unconditioned sensations, the raw swirl of an unfiltered reality, exist as background noise.

In communicating with larvals the following points must, therefore, be remembered:

The larval has no interest in you, you do not exist, unless you can hook into Hir limited reality-island, transmit on Hir narrow mind-band, unless your behavior offers meaning in terms of possible benefit or threat to Hir:

***cellular well being

***emotional-hierarchical status

***artifact manipulation game

***socio-sexual security; domestic reassurance

All larval interactions are instrumental to one of the four survival attitudes. Larvals are comfortably adapted to this limited four-channel communication, scan automatically for the survival meaning of each stimulus and scuttle by each other like ants, each intent on Hir own "reality" - reacting automaticallly to relevant cues from others.

Larval communication occurs in terms of four systems, some of which are comprehensible to the entire species, some of which are limited to members of the same cultural-imprint group.

Larvals do not like to receive information unless the facts fit into their 3rd Circuit reality net and immediately reward their emotional status. Democrats were delighted to hear the facts about Nixon, but Republicans were irritated and resistant.

Larvals submit themselves to learn new symbols only under special motivational circumstances where the new connections build on and confirm established systems or give promise of future emotional rewards of which the teacher is model.

Larvals fervently resist new symbols which require a change in their network of associations. This resistance to learning is not psychological; it is neurological and biochemical. New ideas require a change in the wiring of associations and literally cause a "headache."

Communicating with a larval involves building onto the net of associations. You must literally wire each new idea to an existing neural connection. Larvals learn almost no new symbol systems after childhood. They simply add on or translate into symbols closely connected to the imprint. This accounts for the fact that it takes at least one generation for a new idea to be understood.

It is especially important in communicating with larvals to remember that few symbols now exist for post-larval processes.

You cannot use butterfly language to communicate with caterpillars.

Circuit 4 language involves domestic-moral and social values. Here we discover that there are great cultural differences. The basic sperm-egg invitations to orgasm are, of course, global, but the semantics of displacement, inhibition and sublimation become subtle. Indeed, the individuality, intimacy, specificity, inconsistency and volatility of value symbols requires the greatest caution on the part of post-larvals communicating with yokels.

Most larvals live in terror of being seen as sinful or "bad." Constant reassurance is required to maintain the feeling of being socially approved.

In communicating with larvals about sexual, philosophic, or ethical matters, one enters very dangerous terrain. It is almost impossible to discuss philosophy with yokels. Hypocrisy, unconscious motivation, irrational paradox, need for approval and fear-of-shame dominate every discussion of philosophy-religion.

Larvals may be bored by and may tune-out Circuit 3 symbols which do not fit their imprints and conditioned networks. But Circuit 4 moral symbols or behaviors which are sensed as different trigger off responses of passion and even violence. Because of this philosophic sensitivity, yokel humans tend to avoid philosophic discussions.

This phobia can cause painful reactions when a post-larval attempts to discuss exo-psychology with a mundane.

The reasons for this philosophic phobia:

1. Yokels are ignorant about where life came from, where it is going and why. They are thus terrified by their mortality. Each larval has accepted a flimsy philosophy of life-and-death which SHe does not really believe. Thus the irritation and panic when this basic hypocrisy is threatened by a scientific discussion about life-origin and life destination.

"The Lutheran church has always been based on the Bible," explains Phil Beck, Production Manager of a local paint company and the superintendent of the Church's Sunday School. "If you start questioning it, where do you stop? If I have to have that much education to sit down and understand Genesis, then why did God let Luther put it in the people's language? At what point do I throw the whole mad mess out the door?" Time magazine

2. Yokels are robot-slaves to DNA. They blindly labor to perpetuate the species, to breed, to establish domestic arrangements for rearing young and to transmit cultural survival patterns. Any discussion which threatens to expose or question this robothood is extremely painful. The larval cannot tolerate the insight into uneasy areas of uncertainty.

3. Expression and inhibition of sexual behavior is charged with terror, because orgasm and sperm-egg transfer must be domesticated to provide for stable child rearing.

In communicating with larvals one must realize that discussions about life, death, philosophic ultimates, child-rearing, sexuality - are highly individualistic. Reactions to these topics are unpredictable, depending on the intimacy and safety of the situation.

Hypocrisy and violent defensiveness is endemic.

Post-terrestrials, of course, think of little else except what happens after larval imprints are retracted. They are fascinated by communications with their body, their brain, their DNA.

Post-larvals emit vibrations which sometimes disturb yokels and other times seduce them into a temporary abandonment of philosophic repressions.

Post-terrestrials are usually funny, erotic, relativistic and philosophically provocative. Yokels can unconsciously sense the difference in a post-terrestrial. It is therefore advisable to be accurate and sensitive when interacting with larvals.

One must be careful not to seduce the yokel into betraying too much truth.

During a philosophic discussion with post-terrestrials, larvals will often get carried away in temporary enthusiasm, confess doubt about their cosmologies, admit ethical relativities and even accept post-larval strivings to leave the planet and escape death.

The post-terrestrial is urged to act with delicacy to avoid any overt or implied criticism of yokel values. It must be remembered that, to the larval, astronomy and genetics involve 4th Circuit ethical issues, which threaten loss of moral approval.

Discussing exo-psychology with a yokel is like discussing sexual experiences with a pre-adolescent. SHe just can't understand the new reality because Hir neural circuits have not been turned-on. And SHe may turn you in for philosophic child-molesting.

Sooner or later the larval is going to realize that, after the exciting flight conversation, SHe is going to remain grounded. At this point the yokel can become passionately moralistic, attacking the post-terrestrial for being elitist, callous to human suffering, anti-human, escapist, or even diabolical.

Immortals must be careful not to wound the sensibilities of mortals.

In particular, one must be diplomatic in discussing the future evolution of the human species. Larval humans naturally believe that evolution has already reached its highest stage with homo sapiens!

Circuit 7 discussions which suggest that evolution is just half-completed, that the human species is fetal and not yet born, that many new superior species will evolve from the present gene pool - are especially wounding to yokel hubris.

Science fiction writers and astronomers have often speculated on the problem of communication between human and interstellar entities. This problem is no longer academic. It is happening. This book is an example.

Post-terrestrials Must Also Be Cautious In Communicating with Premature Post-larvals

"The Hippy" and the "Yogi-Body Engineer" represent the first two of twelve post-terrestrial stages, transitional stages of "wingless butterflies," evolved beyond terrestrial attachments, no longer hooked to mundane symbols. The one-G earth and its survival routines are no longer "real." The Hippie-Zen adept is no longer reflexively reactive to emotional status cues, is unmotivated for dexterous success and unmoved by the virtue-shame systems by which society domesticates its workers; but has not yet evolved to the mastery of the newly activated circuits. The true post-terrestrial is shame-less.

The word "Hippy" is a generic term for the first post-larval stages describing those who genetically (Zodiac type) , neurologically (imprint) or historically (hedonic/sub-cultures) get trapped in passive-receptive hedonic life styles. Transcendental masturbation.

The first post-Hiroshima generation has produced millions of Zen "Hippies" who have evolved from the mundane but do not realize that they are extra-terrestrial.

The problem is, in part, one of historical linguistics. The only languages, the only symbols provided by primitive psychology for extramundane experiences were "larval religious." The new reality of the Hippy is symbolized by vague, mystical terms.

A communication vacuum develops. On the one hand, The Hippy, Yogi and Tantric relaizes that SHe has evolved somehow. On the other hand, the five-brained person, detached from larval symbols, lurches around grasping at any transcendental straw - magic, occultism, chanting, witchcraft, telepathy, guru-ism, mystical Christianity, Hassidism, experimental evangelism, the endless varieties of oriental charlatanism.

The trap of body-consciousness and sensory consumerism has been well summarized by Federico Fellini:

"People are losing faith in the future. Our [larval] education, unfortunately, molded us for a life that was always tensed towards a series of achievements - school, military service, a career and, as a grand finale, the encounter with the heavenly father. But now that our tomorrows no longer appear in that optimistic perspective, we are left with a feeling of impotence and fear. People who can no longer believe in a "better tomorrow" logically tend to behave with a desperate egotism. They are preoccupied with protecting, brutally if necessary, those little personal gains, one's little body, one's little sensual appetites. To me this is the most dangerous feature of the '70's"

Five-brained persons flopping around sporadically detached from mundane imprints, lacking a vocabulary and a methedology for extra-terrestrial movement, falll back on larval concepts of transcendence. Caterpillar fantasies about what post-larval life will be like.

A warning is in order. Many five-brained Hippies and Yogis are the most vehement opponents of extra-terrestrial evolution. They use three bland sets of criteria to resist practical plans for interstellar migration:

Look within. Astral travel, passive changing of consciousness will transport us to the promised land.

Return to nature. Back to the paleolithic! Simplify, avoid technology, stalk the wild asparagus, rely on body wisdom, organic purity, sensory pleasure.

All is one. The cosmos is a homogenous mist of flavorless cotton-candy. Exo-psychology and neurogenetics are attacked as unnatural, elitist attempts to differentiate the vanilla-pudding unity of simplistic Hinduism, Buddhism, u.s.w.

Underlying all three of these occult postures is a revulsion against science, technology, evolution and intellectual competence. Implicit in the occultist theory is the assumption that there is nothing left to learn except to rote-memorize some Hindu chants, to rote-recite some glib theosophical dogmas, to quiet the restless inquiring mind.

The three stages of the neurosomatic circuit - 13. Hippy, 14. Yogi, 15. Tantric - are body-oriented and involve a deliberate symbol-stupidity. It is understandable that the five-brained person reacts against the insectoid-cyborg materialism of larval technology, the scientism that produces plastic consumerism, military-industrialism, assembly-line anonomie, and polluted over-population. But the rejection of scientific inquiry becomes a know-nothing smugness. Occultists become long-haired rednecks.

The evidence from astronomy, bio-chemistry, genetics, nuclear-physics, defines the true frontier of philosophy and religion. Scientific American is more "far-out" than any occult magazine, the Periodic Table of Elements more prophetic than the Tarot deck. The nucleus of the atom is a realm more mysterious and omnicient than any theological fantasy. The cosmology of an expanding-universe-riddled-with-Black-Holes more bizarre than the eschatologies of Dante, Homer and Ramayana.

Despite this noble rejection of the artificial, the Hippie-Yogi-Tantric establishment is an entrenched, self-indulgent block to evolution - a transitional stage preparatory to planetary migration.

We see the limitations of neurosomatic contelligence most clearly in the teachings of don Juan. Castaneda's warrior-sorcerers are admirable in their dignified, humorous, disciplined attempts to retract social imprints. Don Juan has worked out an accurate, metaphorical neurologic. He precisely defines the larval-imprint reality-island (tonal) and the direct experience of the nagual.

But don Juan's philosophy is pessimistic: "There are no survivors on this earth." It fails to evolve to Stage 15 neurosomatic linkage: "And then I was alone," is the bleak conclusion.

The first post-Hiroshima generation was truly a lost generation. Liberated from yokel imprints but with no place to go beyond body geography. The cynicism and malaise of the 1970's is the result of this disillusion.

For these reasons the exo-psychologist must speak with caution in communicating with the members of the "Woodstock" generation. They have imprinted their bodies but are too old and set in their ways (at age 25-35) [when this was written] to receive the neurophysical signals for extra-terrestrial migration.

. . .

This [information] is not for Every Body. The human species is now at a point of genetic fission. Assume that ninety-three percent of the species is going to adapt to life on the planet. Ecology is the seductive dinosaur science that will lead most of the post-human species to conform to terrestrial conditions, become reasonably comfortable, passive, robot-conditioned cyborg insectoids directed by centralized (ABC, NBC, CIA, CNN, MAO, KGB) broadcasting systems. For terrestrial readers this manual outlines the neurological steps necessary to adapt harmoniously to hedonic, five-brained cyborg existence.

This transmission flashes a different signal for the seven percent who we assume are DNA-designed to attain biological immortality, leave the womb-planet, become galactic citizens and fuse with superior interstellar entities.

This manual is not designed for conventional author-reader games.

It is a signal for mutation.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

goodnight, aunt doris....

this is a note to my three cousins....

the pastor asked at the funeral this morning if anyone had anything to share...and i WANTED To pretty bad (no one did) but i cannot speak at funerals. i am lucky to make it to them at all at this point....

here is what i woulda said...

sorry i didnt have the guts to say so earlier...but i have a cute little story about your mom (i think...)

on my 18th birthday i went up to grissom's and bought a dollar scratch ticket. your mom sold it to me and said (totally joking)..."now, don't tell anyone i sold you that because we aren't supposed to sell to our family in case they win big money..." (you know better than almost anyone that twinkle in her eye...)....well i up and won $50 bucks!!! haha! and your mom from that very day foreward EVERY TIME i ever saw her again said "now, steffi! if i knew you were gonna win ALL THAT MONEY i NEVER would've sold you that ticket" (as though she woulda lost her decades long job...)with just the cutest little grin and giggle. and she ALWAYS asked me if i had any of the money left too hahahaha
my BIG lotto win, first one i ever bought! :)

i also remember when your parents had that canary bird and your dad kept trying to get it to cuss and your mom would get sooooo exasperated :)

she is also one of the three people on earth i never minded calling me steffi....;)

she was a great woman and a sweet aunt and i hope you are able to find comfort in your family and friends and all of us who loved her and love you...


Monday, May 25, 2009

moonstone memory day (actuality)

the first annual moonstone memory day has come and gone and it was beautiful...
(minus the part where bella bloodied her head all up and we called 911....she is fine. she was fine before they got here, albeit bloddy and with a huge bump on her head)

we had a lovely lunch (seen here...corn on the cob, watermelon, chips, pickles, cake, and a big ol stick uh buttuh....i know, nutritious, right?)

we had our first little fire of the year and made smores in the evening. then, after the babies were put to bed, jonathan, bastian, and i congregated on the porch and wrote our memories on index cards, which i will affix to our new MOONSTONE MEMORY BOOK for this year's entry.... brilliant, eh?

and here they are (in no particular order....and sorry if some of it is redundant, we are three people with the same experiences haha)

*Momma's dream came true and she has a library for her family. The love of reading is one of the most important things she can teach.

*We have done REALLY well at recycling, being VERY environmentally aware and giving to charity.

*We are all now absolutely in love with all things harry potter and have shared the world of hogwarts as a family. Very magical ;) (and we went to the symphony)

*We played Boggle in a thunderstorm

*Hurricane Ike hit our family in Galveston and then came and knocked our HUGE tree branch down- but we were all safe. Miracle.

*I made tulips, and they worked!

*Bastian and i had a really funny laugh about Huck Finn

*Bastian and i went to see Barack Obama speak in Dayton. When he was elected, we stayed up late and met jonny in the street ringing our bell.

* We answered a call from the Y and changed Momma's lifestyle. WE enjoy going to the Y together too.

*We play dungeons and dragons together as a family now. Even Momma. Thank you, Jonny.

*Had a wonderful getaway with jonathan in yellow springs.

*We spent a lot of time on the internet. Connecting with friends and family, learning about the world, making creative endeavors, and having pets.

*Jonathan stayed at the same job for a whole year and provided for us greatly. We are proud of him and grateful for all he does for us.

*We had a great winter solstice/yule. Our trees were lovely and we were able to give gifts to everyone. It was nice to send a box to our crummett and bivens family in texas. And we all got lovely gifts and enjoyed being together.

*River says "Dada's Harry Potter, Momma's Ermione, Bashie Weasy, Fred is harry potter, and sisty's draco malfboy"

*Jonathan is being as artistic as much as he can.

*Jonathan has kept a 15 cent goldfish alive since january in a small glass bowl. I call him fishy, fred calls him "harry potter"

*We all had an good honest go at being vegetarians, eating healthy and buying natural or organic products.

*Jonny got employee of the month and got to go out to eat with his supervisor and the owner of his work.

*Jonathan's mom, niki, and grandma mae and papa jake came to visit and we had good times.

*WE have paid our bills as on time as humanly possible, paid off the car, and have bought lots of groceries every week.

*Jonathan has kept a steady job for nearly 14 months now and has walked to work 99% of the time in snow, heat, rain, and even a huge storm.

*A dog came to our house, we kept it for the night, called the owner, and they gave us a reward.

*We got a fence put up, planted lots of flowers and tress, recycle like crazy, and have turned one and a half compost heaps. We have smores over campfires, try and buy wooden toys for the kids, drink lots of water, and eat soy so that maybe some animals will live.

*River learned to go potty right after he turned 3. He's getting to be a big boy.

*Steffani is learning to sew and is having a good hobby making dresses and pajamas.

*Bashie joined boy scouts, steffani learned to play dungeons and dragons and like it, fred eats more than he used to and talks in complete sentences, bella is a beautiful girl and is growing up very fast.

*Our family has read and seen almost all the harry potter books and films. Fred likes to "ride broom" and "catchasnitch"

*We welcomed grandma camille to our home for bella's first birthday. IT was a lovely visit and we are glad she came.

*It was a lovely year of watching the seasons pass in our new Home and our new state. We made it throught the winter, and the soggy spring, and the confetti fall...

*We had lovely visits with grandma mae and papa jake. Papa sure fixed us a good fence and fixed our house all up. It is great to spend time with grandma mae. She is special.

*Pirates returned on the news

*Blue hippo is adopted.

*Jonny gets employee of the month

*Bashie has a garden.

*Own our car

*Lincoln turns 200

*Finished lemony snicket saga

*Saw a bunny

*Guitar Hero

*WE go to the YMCA

*Fire crackers on july 4

*Momma stop smoking

*Momma sews

*My gameboy advance

*Fred go potty

*Swine flu

*Cousin niki, dirk, kelsey, bailey, and teague came for cousin chad's wedding. We threw a neat surprise birthday party for niki. Niki is now one of momma's best friends.

*WE paid off the lumina. NO MORE YKS (loan lender for car)

*We decorated our house on 4th of july. It was our statement about our dislike of the way bush ran the country unconstitutionally. It was fun and courageous.

*We worked together and transformed the two front rooms into lovely, cozy family spaces. We got new carpet and also made the bathroom beautiful. Lovely Home from a YUCKY house....

(there are sooooooooooo many more memories....this was a lovely activity....(that last lovely was facetious...i had meant the rest of them))

NEVER give up....never ever ever ever ever give up

i have been trying and meaning and attempting to make bella play dresses for weeks, if not a month. failed attempt after failed attempt after botched pattern after mess after bobbin thread tears, i have now made four dresses in the past 24 hours...they are amazingly flawed. that has taught me a lot about myself...i don't mind flaws, as long as i am getting it "done"....that is a FAR cry from being a perfectionist, i think.... (i mean, they are pretty friggin flawed....but they exist) it was the fourth one before i had half a clue what i was doing....

to make the first one,i took apart a dress that bella already had with a seam ripper. then took the parts of the dress, then traced them on brown paper and cut them out and tried to make a dress out of an old sundress i had...just to use the material for practice. the back didn't work, so i used the bodice of the old sundress to make a panel for the back. it can actually be worn either frontways or backwards...yay.

the second, i REALLY had the "gathering thing" down, and then tried to sew the gathering INSIDE and it didnt come out so great...all i will have to do is create a sash with ties sometime when i feel like sitting back down and sewing, and this dress, the yellow/brown flowers, will be the least flawed of all...

(nice job, dad, photobombing your one year old...great!)

the third one is my favorite so far though (i love the yellow/brown flowered material best though)...it is greenish and yellowish flowers. it looks VERY good on....

the last one is a batik and is actually the first material i bought when i started buying material to make her "play dresses"....it is ok...not pretty, just exotic...

i have material left of each to make matching bloomers/diaper covers....i am just too tired now (was up till after 1 with that first masterpiece there)....

more to come, i'm sure....

Sunday, May 24, 2009


i cannot get enough of this film. i love it alot. here it is again....