Saturday, July 19, 2008

what i would say if i saw shad wion

if i saw shad wion right now i would tell him about how i was driving on high street in covington today and i saw a yard sale and they were selling the psychadelic 7UP signs from the SHANGRI-LA...

he would like that story...and i think that once i told it everything would be okay and the last 15 years would disappear *poof*

i never think of him...maybe twice a year...on his birthday and some other day or something (or anytime i see patches)...

this was one and it was nice.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

testicular dorkitude

so on monday night, sebastian and i went to the iga store uptown for potatoes...on the way out we got more than we bargained for!

we saw a pickup truck...for instance, say it was a dodge pickup truck....

hanging from the trailer hitch thingie was a set of uhhh...plastic testicles of some sort...

bastian was the first to see them. he said "why would someone put balloons on this pickup?"

i looked closer. i said "i think its something else"

at which point he said " are they nuts?!"

i said "yeah i think they are."


i swear to you, i have ALWAYS prided myself on my intelligence and worldly wisdom and i had NEVER seen this before.

bastian said "are kids supposed to see that?!" (he was absolutely flabbergasted, as was i, really)

i said "i guess so, because you just did"

then he said "why would they do that?"

i said "i dunno...why don't you go back to the grocery and ask everyone if it is their truck and if they are supposed to show it to children and why they are doing it?"

he laughed. so did i.

in relating this story to my best friend, marci...i said "are the testicles on the pickup trucks new or have they always had them and i am naive?!"

she said "i would say that they have had them for at least 20 years, but that is as long as i can remember."

gross.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

pumpkin eaters

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i call minivans (and the ladies who drive them) "pumpkin eaters" because they remind me of the nursery rhyme of peter peter pumpkin eater who locked his wife in a pumpkin.

i have RESISTED the whole minivan thing...VERY VERY VERY STRONGLY because it is so antithetical to my own internal wanna-feminism.

but those days are kinda coming to an end because we have FIVE people in our Lumina now...and two of the ones in the backseat are in carseats and the other one in the backseat is constantly miserable.

at this rate, we will never take anyone else along, no friends, no nuthin... and its just very uncomfortable now...

so my mind has always wandered to an econoline van with a pop out back seat and a pop in bed thingie to cart the kids around in and also travel or spend the nights out somewhere on date night...

then my husband could put his failed art school career to good use and paint the outside all psychodelic and cool...

that's as close to the "van thing" as i would ever allow myself to wander...

and besides, they are FUCKING EXPENSIVE....

my best friend has one that will cost (just off the lot, no improvement, maintenance, five dollar a gallon gas, or insurance) TWENTYEIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS...

in my opinion, it may as well be TWENTY EIGHT MILLION and JUST THAT STUPID...

i cannot imagine spending that much on an item...transportation or not...

but something has to be done...

so this morning when i was dropping bastian off at his "ecosplorers" summer program at the local nature preserve...(bibleschool for the pagany set hahaha) my mind wandered to these ladies (these "pumpkineaters") in their poop brown and shitstorm grey minivans and my pity turned to trying to think of a solution...if not for THEM, because i guess they don't have a problem... than for me...

how could I, in a good steffeminist way, resolve to ever owning the minivan that i so desperately need...and the ANSWER was quick to come to me...

why dont they paint them GIRLY colors?!!!!

these women, these pumpkin eaters are in DRAB PUMPKINS...as if the humiliation weren't enough to their girly, notsexyanymorebecauseihavekidsandiamgettingolder psyches!!!!!!!

pink! like my toenail polish!

glossy hot colors!!!

TEAL, if you insist!

but SOMETHING prettier and GIRLIER and SEXIER and more BEAUTIFUL....

a pretty pumpkin rather than an industrial, institutional, jailcell colored minivan! YUCKKKKY!

so i may be pricing minivans and i MAY be looking to get a pink one...somehow...probably will buy a beater one and go to maaco...but how gorgeous would that be??!!!

i would start a movement, i know it....

i feel now, that there are millions of women who NEED me to start this....

(i fluctuate between gutter self esteem and delusions of grandeur, i know this)

just think, why aren't women doing prettier things than what they are settling for? why aren't i?

Monday, July 14, 2008

the ten keys

these are the ten key values of the GREEN PARTY of the united states...
what do YOU think?!

i find it delicious and utopian and gorgeous beautiful lovelystuff...

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Ten Key Values of the Green Party

Originally ratified at the Green Party Convention in Denver, CO, June 2000.

1. GRASSROOTS DEMOCRACY
Every human being deserves a say in the decisions that affect their lives and not be subject to the will of another. Therefore, we will work to increase public participation at every level of government and to ensure that our public representatives are fully accountable to the people who elect them. We will also work to create new types of political organizations which expand the process of participatory democracy by directly including citizens in the decision-making process.

2. SOCIAL JUSTICE AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
All persons should have the rights and opportunity to benefit equally from the resources afforded us by society and the environment. We must consciously confront in ourselves, our organizations, and society at large, barriers such as racism and class oppression, sexism and homophobia, ageism and disability, which act to deny fair treatment and equal justice under the law.

3. ECOLOGICAL WISDOM
Human societies must operate with the understanding that we are part of nature, not separate from nature. We must maintain an ecological balance and live within the ecological and resource limits of our communities and our planet. We support a sustainable society which utilizes resources in such a way that future generations will benefit and not suffer from the practices of our generation. To this end we must practice agriculture which replenishes the soil; move to an energy efficient economy; and live in ways that respect the integrity of natural systems.

4. NON-VIOLENCE
It is essential that we develop effective alternatives to society’s current patterns of violence. We will work to demilitarize, and eliminate weapons of mass destruction, without being naive about the intentions of other governments. We recognize the need for self-defense and the defense of others who are in helpless situations. We promote non-violent methods to oppose practices and policies with which we disagree, and will guide our actions toward lasting personal, community and global peace.

5. DECENTRALIZATION
Centralization of wealth and power contributes to social and economic injustice, environmental destruction, and militarization. Therefore, we support a restructuring of social, political and economic institutions away from a system which is controlled by and mostly benefits the powerful few, to a democratic, less bureaucratic system. Decision-making should, as much as possible, remain at the individual and local level, while assuring that civil rights are protected for all citizens.

6. COMMUNITY-BASED ECONOMICS AND ECONOMIC JUSTICE
We recognize it is essential to create a vibrant and sustainable economic system, one that can create jobs and provide a decent standard of living for all people while maintaining a healthy ecological balance. A successful economic system will offer meaningful work with dignity, while paying a “living wage” which reflects the real value of a person’s work.

Local communities must look to economic development that assures protection of the environment and workers’ rights; broad citizen participation in planning; and enhancement of our “quality of life.” We support independently owned and operated companies which are socially responsible, as well as co-operatives and public enterprises that distribute resources and control to more people through democratic participation.

7. FEMINISM AND GENDER EQUITY
We have inherited a social system based on male domination of politics and economics. We call for the replacement of the cultural ethics of domination and control with more cooperative ways of interacting that respect differences of opinion and gender. Human values such as equity between the sexes, interpersonal responsibility, and honesty must be developed with moral conscience. We should remember that the process that determines our decisions and actions is just as important as achieving the outcome we want.

8. RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY
We believe it is important to value cultural, ethnic, racial, sexual, religious and spiritual diversity, and to promote the development of respectful relationships across these lines.

We believe that the many diverse elements of society should be reflected in our organizations and decision-making bodies, and we support the leadership of people who have been traditionally closed out of leadership roles. We acknowledge and encourage respect for other life forms than our own and the preservation of biodiversity.

9. PERSONAL AND GLOBAL RESPONSIBILITY
We encourage individuals to act to improve their personal well-being and, at the same time, to enhance ecological balance and social harmony. We seek to join with people and organizations around the world to foster peace, economic justice, and the health of the planet.

10. FUTURE FOCUS AND SUSTAINABILITY
Our actions and policies should be motivated by long-term goals. We seek to protect valuable natural resources, safely disposing of or “unmaking” all waste we create, while developing a sustainable economics that does not depend on continual expansion for survival. We must counterbalance the drive for short-term profits by assuring that economic development, new technologies, and fiscal policies are responsible to future generations who will inherit the results of our actions.

Ten Key Values from other state and local Greens.
There is no authoritative version of the Ten Key Values of the Greens. The Ten Key Values are guiding principles that are adapted and defined to fit each state and local chapter.

if

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a (wo)man my (daughter) son!

--Rudyard Kipling