Our Year Of Living (Beautifully) Without WalMart

Friday, May 15, 2009

happy birthday, jonathan

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***today is my precious husband, jonathan's 26th birthday. On May 15, 1983, he was born 3 months prematurely and weighed one pound, fifteen ounces. This is something i wrote to him when we were courting....

The Birth Of Love
I think of the prayers of your mother, of your ancestors into the ears of the angel who held your entire life in one small hand.

I think of the miracle of your Beginning, of your fight to live to love.

I think of the bright darkness between life and Death, and at the meeting of our souls...

The light Darkness you came from, the Home you left to join the living, extraordinarily different from the start...

The Miracle that you were when they agonized, and in your presence were gifted with facing all of the Mysteries of life and sureties of Death...

The angel, in whose hand you rested, brushed your mouth with the tip of a Holy finger and caused your Breath- and all the other things hard fought by you that came so easily to others, automatic....

With every breath. that came too easily to the rest of us, You fought through your lungs nothing but Love of Life...

With every breath, you taught awareness of Life and the stark miracle of hurting....

You showed in your valiant fight with Darkness exactly what it is to Love...

You show that now to me. And i thank you for guiding me through my selfish Pain, my former small understanding of the Miracle of love...

And for gifting me with thinking that i was giving to you, when it was you showing me how to breathe a miracle...

In your tiny way, you showed the greatest Strength that has ever existed, influenced more in your first moments to more people than any of us with our "vastness" could hope to do in our entire lifetimes...

To consider that it is with me that you, great Teacher of Love and Life, would desire more than anything to gift me with babies is the highest honor i can imagine...

The holiness of Creation, you creator of so many things, who Breathed into my dying soul and resurrected my power of Love, erased what before in all my lonely thinking was the Mistaken Replacement of False Miracles...

I want to express to you, like prayer, like wishing, like spelling, like giving, All of the millions of thoughts i have about the Fortune that made me the one that you Love...

I want to love you like you are teaching me, want to give you anything in my small way that to others is vast as the universe, but when i dwell with you and you enfold around me is small and tiny as your fist on your first day as you raised it defiantly, pointed to the Unknown, pointed at my heart, without knowing....

Without knowing we'd end up right here. My words in your ear, my intention pounding your heart, our desire gripping our souls, my body awaiting your touch which will lead to the creation inside me of your needful Continuation of Life....

To be the one who is with you at your next miraculous birth, your new pure defiant soul incarnate, your firstborn, our baby....

Be it girl or boy, ecstacy or joy, the Universe labors with us in the creation and Birth of Love....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

happy mother's day, mom

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i still to this day search through thrift stores for towels like this....

i want desperately to believe that that baby is me...(it is)

the halo of fraying sure speaks volumes...

thank you for doing whatever you did with that q-tip...

thanks for the whole birth thing the other day, so that i could get nice presents and fussed over on facebook :)...

thanks for the whole childhood thing....i know now it was difficult...

i love you with a LOT of my heart and even more of my brain...

thank you for playing family feud against me for pennies (i am so glad i didn't fall through the picture window putting them up in the sill)...

thank you for taking me to gigi....

thank you for taking me to the tuba recital....

thank you for putting the hot oil in my ears and laying my head on a heating pad...

thank you for taking me to the dance with those mentally challenged kids...

thank you for snow cream....

thank you for going to girl scout camp during finals week and sleeping on the hood of the car...

thank you for welcoming my prodigal ass back Home....

thank you for helping to raise my kids in the ways that you do....

thank you for letting me quit annie get your gun....

sorry i stole this picture a couple decades ago...

thank you for allowing me to be your daughter even though i am a beatles girl through and through...

thank you for having that idea to do my science project on oxidation...

thank you for driving bastian from school every single day...

i love you...i have to go mother now, it is 12:17 am and bella just woke up...

have a beautiful mother's day everyday....