Saturday, June 28, 2008

midsummer full

full blue moon & tree

i am full of thoughts, in a good way.
my house is about to become a home.
all thoughts will lead to good things given time, nourishment, and energy.
and a tangible chance!

i opened my last pack of cigarettes today.
my loyalty to the camel cigarette company is much stronger than their loyalty to me...they changed the blend.
why would i even dare to start some other brand and choicedly enslave myself for thirteen more years?!
my babies will be teenagers by then...bastian will own this house by then.
if i were to live to see it!

oh mindless mindfullness! the story of my life...

piles of beautifully illustrated childrens books that i may or may not get around to showingto, reading with, or sharing with my children...

boxes of board games, decks of cards, and i don't know how to play!

my house is such a sanctuary for insects that it is like my broompile comes microscopically alive, when i get a notion to sweep...

but i have a diaper pail now, and strawberries in my fridge...loaves of bread waiting for my hands to bake them...

can you see it? can you see my robin's egg blue summer parlor with ceiling fan and five 5shelf book shelves?! i can...

can you see me spraypainting bricks white for bastian and i to paint different colors to lay around our SUNFLOWER GARDEN, just as soon as i paint them and pick up the compost mulch i laid to create the dirt underneath? i can....

i can see multitudinous possibilities where there is usually ennui and mundane...they wait for me...even under piles of nonsense and lack mentality and selfimposed drama, they wait patient as waves lapping the shoreline...

for me to come back to them... they wait...and under the dark earth of possibility i remember them...

and they sprout!

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