Our Year Of Living (Beautifully) Without WalMart

Thursday, June 19, 2008

how to bury your ex-husband

(originally posted july 21, 2007)

i have no idea why i have such a compulsion to sit here right exactly at this moment in time and right(haha, freudian slip!) write this. but i am using my precious minutes away from my house/children/responsibilities to type on here (and share) what i cannot seem to say in a five subject notebook (usually my most calming activity) or on any scrap of paper or with my mouth....

i have no idea which or who of you will read this...i don't know what your relationship to me or to sebastian or bobby is....i just have to type some stuff so that i won't have to EXPLAIN it next time i talk or type with you (whenever i will be blessed to do that).
so, here is the nitty gritty, and after that, my mind's nooks and crannies....

Robert Williams (November 5, 1977 - July 14, 2007) Guest Book Sign Guest Book Send Private Condolences

Robert "Bobby" Williams, 29, of Eaton, died as a result of an accident on Saturday, July 14, 2007 at the Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland.
Bobby was born on November 5, 1977 in Killeen, Texas. He has lived in Eaton for most of his life and graduated from the Weld Opportunity School. He married Steffani Jennings in 1998 in Greeley. They later divorced.
He was a master plumber and he began his career with Plumbing Services Incorporated in Loveland. He went on to own and operate his own business, Williams Custom Plumbing for many years. Bobby was an avid collector of Star Wars memorabilia and he also collected and restored old Ford Ranchero cars and he also loved listening to Beetle's music. His family wants everyone to know that he loved life and especially loved spending time with his son; Sebastian.
Survivors include his son, Sebastian Williams of Greeley; his mother and step father, Terry and Steve Hinton of Eaton, his adopted father, Michael L. Williams of Eaton; 2 Brothers, Andrew Williams of Loveland and Charlie Williams of Greeley; his grandparents, Jake and Ella Mae White of Eaton and Dorothy and Laverne Williams of Greeley; his great grandmother, Edith Nieberger of Greeley; several aunts and uncles including, David White and his wife Iris of Eaton, Annette Adams of Eaton and Vicki Devitt of Wheatridge; special friends, Jerame Sheets of Eaton, Patsy Drewer of Greeley, Bobbi Jo Sheets and Brenna Sheets both of Greeley and his biological father, Robert Dorsett of Texas. He is preceded in death by his great grandparents, Clifford and Rosalee White and great grandfather Carl Nieberger.
A graveside service to celebrate Bobby's life will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Friday, July 20, 2007 at the Eaton Cemetery. Visitation will be from 6:00 until 8:00 p.m. on Thursday at the Moser Funeral Service Chapel, 3501 S. 11th Avenue in Evans.
Memorial gifts may be made to the Bobby Williams memorial fund in care of Moser Funeral Service, 3501 S. 11th Avenue, Evans, Colorado 80620.

where i am is sooooo delicate. where i am is rocksolid butterfly's wings. where i am is very grown up. very adult. very tender. very scary. where i am is so different from where i was last week.
the alluded to accident occured while bastian was on his two week summer visitation. sebastian, his dad, and his dad's girlfriend went sailing toy boats in an irrigation ditch in town. the boats were getting away and bobby dove in (hotdogging around, no doubt) to get them and broke his neck. sebastian was the one who ran for help and called 911. a couple of "hospital days" followed culminating in a visit by sebastian and i as they decided to take bobby off of life support, and saturday morning last he was gone when we woke up. then thursday the viewing and yesterday morning the burial and today the first day after...

my son has lost his father. it is so heavy and requires me to try to be so light.
we have all lost something and become new and different people.
i am not doing very well expressing all of this. sorry.

i am feeling very lonely. i am feeling very shaky inside but like a stonewall of comfort outside for bastian. i would love to hear from anyone who can validate my worth and strength to any degree.

if you have any questions, PLEASE ASK THEM. it helps me sooo much to find answers and search myself and learn what i am going through.

if you have children...love them. teach them about the "spiritworld" now, so you are more prepared "WHEN THE TIME COMES" for them to suddenly grasp to understand. if you have children...talk to them. explain everything all the time and it makes the incomprehensible and unimaginable more able to make sense in the clincher. if you have children...talk to them about life, know that they are the carriers of all that is precious in life, in innocence, and in beauty.

if you have boys or girls that you loved (or married) when you were young and now you are "old" and you still think of them, wonder about them, worry for them, or have any regret whatsoever, FIND THEM AND TELL THEM ALL ABOUT IT. write about it and resolve things for yourself first and then, if possible, if in your heart it nags or feels necessary, see if you can't make them feel better or more understanding.
if you are just starting out in life and do not have such "GROWN UP CONCERNS" as children and marriage and divorce and death, explore why not. thank your lucky star that you do not have these griefs and joys and complications and wish for the strength to be able to meet the challenges as they jump out from behind darkened corners of life and shock the breath out of you.
i must go now. please consider what i have suggested. i am not doing so to be bossy but to share what i have learned can benefit others whether they know so from past experience, have no idea they may need to know so in the future, or are able to understand a word of it because they are and have been where i have walked this week.

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