Our Year Of Living (Beautifully) Without WalMart

Friday, December 26, 2008

this is not the greatest most revealing writing i have done in a long time...this is just a survey

****brownie points to anyone who can sing that in tune***** (anyone?)
Where were you an hour ago?
praying to the gods to die from this dry head stuff

Who will be your next kiss?
probably jonathan or fred or bella or bastian...its up in the air...fred's awake, so i will go with fred

Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

When is the last time you went to the mall?
nah...ummm...there were halloween decorations up, i know that

Wearing socks right now?

When was the last time you went out of the state?
drove to ohio march 2007 from colorado

Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
of course not

What was the last thing you had to drink?
hot chocolate

What are you wearing right now?
jama pants, fancy pink shirt, socks

Have you been in a car wash?
not recently

Last food you ate?
probably buckeyes

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
grandma mae

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
bella's xmas dress
(silk bloomers)

Do you have a pet?
human children

What's the last sporting event you watched?

What does you last text say?
not applicable
(thats not what it says...i dont have one)

If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
sleeping on a moist cloud able to breathe and speak

What is the last thing you purchased online?
most of xmas

Do you miss anyone?
more than likely

Last play you saw?
alice in wonderland

What are your plans for the day?
hopefully survive, but i dunno, thats a long shot...

Who is the last person you commented on myspace?

Ever go to camp?
church camp
girl scout camp
band camp

Were you an honor roll student in school?
not that i know of
i was, just not recognized as such because of my atrocious grades

What do you know about the future?
that it's coming...whoops there it went...that it is on its... dammit

What time is it now?

Where is your best friend located?
probably bed, but i dunno, she could be sitting around angst ridden like me, wouldnt be surprised

Do you have a tan?
not as much as i used to when i was younger

How old do you want to be when you have kids?
older than this...i am not mature or mentally stable enough for children. and i cannot afford them. plus i just cannot find a man to impregnate me. i have always had such a problem with that.

Do you collect anything?
dirty dishes

Favorite beer?

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
never. i did not know that was possible.

Do you like hot sauce?
a resounding nope

What is your mood?
desperate for attention
angry at the world

Are you someone's best friend?
last i knew

What's the last TV show you watched?
i watched some america's next top model on youtube last tuesday, but just 9 minute clips of makeovers, does that count?

oh, and my mother had playing on television chritsmas eve for 4 hours some chaotic frenetic colored picture show with monsters and santa and subliminal messages

(i am being told in my other ear it was dexter's *stike that* Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends)

i begged for mercy and to have it shut off and my sister looked at me like she wanted to kill me for being disgusting, and told me that i needed hospitalized, to which i said "is that what you are getting me for christmas? because thats what i asked santa for!!! yay!!!!"

Are you in good mood right now?
i am not dead. that, at this exact millisecond, i suppose is a good thing

Your phone rings; what do you say?
bastian check who it is on the caller id...ok just give me the fucking thing, goddamnit...hello?!

What's wrong with you right now?
everything physically and about 43 percent mentally and 56 percent psychically

Could you go for a chicken sandwich & some waffle fries??
i do not know what waffle fries are, but i eat most anything that crosses my path, except things people (say for example jonathan or bastian) ask me to try, i NEVER EVER EVER try THAT shit...never.
(reincarnated royalty and the whole poisoning thingie)

Latest you stayed up in the past week?
i have been for the most part awake for three and a half years.
wait, make that five years or more...bastian was five when i started staying awake almost all the time, and he will be ten in two weeks.
lack of sleep is going to kill me.
but i can't seem to get help or sleep without the pesky tylenol pm thing from 6 years ago...and i dont know if even that would work at this point.

When was your last phone call and who was it with?
grandma mae called me yesterday morning.
i got marci's answering machine four times last night between 7 and 10 pm EST

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
yes, i would die if i didnt

Do you prefer long or short relationships?
short definitely. thats why i will never get married and have children

Do you remember your dreams?
yes every single one of them. makes storing new memories very difficult, but i try to get the job done

When walking towards an automatic door do you ever fear that it won't open?
no, i pray for a cororate lawsuit due to running my something vein through the glass door, killing two birds with one stone, the coma for the rest i need and the money for that whole "building a sustainable log cabin with solar panels and every other human delicacy i have ever wanted" thingie...
oh! and a pool!
and a nanny!

Who do you hate?
steffani crummett most of the time, but i sometimes act like i like her just to fuck with her.

When will your next kiss be?
i dunno whenever fred feels like it i guess, i am still waiting

Who was the last person you ran into unexpectedly?
you. whoever you are, reading this.
hi how are you i am fine thank you
(thats the versaillesian goodwill schpeil)

Do you tend to make things complicated?
easy breezy beautiful steffi girl
life's too short to think!
its a party in my pants all the time, people

When do you go to sleep?
i don't

Last night did you go to sleep happy?
doubt it

Have any crazy family members?
just me
there is not a damn thing wrong with anyone else.
i am too dramatic and think too much,
they are sane as the day is long

Do you think you spend an unusual amount of time thinking unusual things?
that depends on what your definition of the word time is....?

Have you ever crawled through a window?
only that time i cat burgled all those jewels...

What do you spend most of your money on?
and processed food
(and i call myself socially concious! imagine! ha!)

Ever kissed someone over 30?
over 3o what? feet tall? times on the earlobe? what?
i do not understand this question...

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
omg i typed It! Was gonna leave it! damn...i erased it...i typed it again... thought About someone in my family driving over to my momS to show it to her...eRased it agAin. damn it. as if someone is reading this. christ, that was freeing!
i could lose 100 Pounds of body fat if i would just typEd it, i know it! Dammit!
just backspaced again.

(nice job, columbo)

Have you ever dyed your hair?
not yet today, you never know

Are you wearing a necklace?
not a visual one, but a placard of shame and pompous weirdness hangs around my neck that i sometimes forget is there

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
and being nine years old!

Are you an emotional person?
not usually. i usually hide the way iam feeling.

Have you ever worked in a food place?
i have been the cook for this family i work for before
and mcdonalds

Has your #2 on your friends ever made you cry?
only when getting pictures taken

Do you like someone?
i sat here for 26 minutes trying to think of someone. i am too bored and if i don't keep this up i may stop and hit the back browser button this late in the game...so, no....not that i know of

(funny thing about that...if jonathan is reading thus far, he will think i am serious)

Ever felt like you're not good enough?
just at kickball, otherwise the cool kids woulda picked me sooner, other than that, i have an innate ability to do everything perfectly without having to practice, plan or try.

plus i was given such a healthy self esteem as a child, that goes a long way towards raising a healthy adult...this fucked up girl once told me...but she is a fucking mess so i didnt believe a word out of her mouth

Have you ever kissed someone who's name started with an D?
more than more than likely

Do you think that your a good person?
i didnt think about being a person till you asked that! wow...i will have to get back to you on that!


Are you happier single or in a relationship?
these questions are WILD....who thinks up this stuff???? they have too much time on their hands, thats all i know!

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
i recall nothing of the sort

Do you like wintertime?

7 days from now will you be in a relationship?
signs point to yes

Where is #1 person on your friends list?
sleeping his works for a living ass upstairs in our king sized bed with the faux down comforter with not a care in the muthafuckin world
happy day after christmas! can i get you some coffee? a newspaper?

Where is the person you like right now?
sleeping his works for a living ass upstairs in our king sized bed with the faux down comforter with not a care in the muthafuckin world

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
i was two minutes away from starting this bitch. it is now 832...evolution is an interesting concept. i am sure the cavewomen had nothing better to do for thirty minutes before their children and men woke up...
no corn to beat into flour here!

Did you have a good birthday this year?
i wasnt born this year, nor did i give birth (again) this year. yay me.
god these questions are so weird

Have you kissed anyone today?
still waiting for my man fred but he is stacking blocks. i could be waiting here all day

How exactly are you feeling?
well i laughed at that and a million thoughts and emotions tinkled out of my unsounding voice/breath/rasping thingie that used to be a mouth and sprayed forth into this unwitting universe....

since then i have thought up some kind of trite weird 40 someword answerish thingie to that question, but most of this is thought....

i could go on and on about my physical body and it's cellular processes that are fooling me into believing that they are my feelings right now...

i could tell you that i just heard a morning (mourning) (thats one of those homophones that as i kid could be confusing) dove and a couple other birds and that has me thinking of spring and hope and global warming.

again....the weather isnt a feeling...even though people sure do try to use it in conversation alot to mask their true feelings because there aren't enough hours in the day nor consumable materials to burn through and covet to cover up that shit, but we all keep trying away.

so, i guess i am fine. yeah i am okay.

how are YOU feeling right now????

What should you be doing?
my hair and makeup

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

june cleaver fail

BEST article i have EVER read on the inter-generational psychosis that i feel all the time...

written about the housing crisis with INCREDIBLE vignettes of gen x wonderfulness and truth.

read it! what better do you have to do?


Sunday, December 21, 2008

jesus, were you born in a barn?!

i have, as we all now know, and i no longer mamby pamby dance around the mulberry bush about, rather alternative views of the world around us, and spirituality and religion, in particular.

this year, i have still listened to the CHRISTmas song channel, because something about me loves CHRISTmas music, but not so much really, this year, because it just feels like repeated propaganda about bethlehem and holy nights and pa-rum-pa-pum-pum over and over again.

and if not that, then jingle-rock-baby-the rednosed-snowman.

but, no matter how you slice it, i still call it the CHRISTmas tree and CHRISTmas eve.

we had a lovely little solstice get-together last night, jonathan bastian and i. (the babies went to bed, but fred got to eat the solstice cookies) i made chicken and noodles and we put the tree up to light the lights and welcome the sun. sebastian received The Wandmaker's Guidebook, a neat little book that he has been inseperable from. jonathan got a pewter wizard pendant necklace on a black leather strand. me, i got the joy of knowing that i was again marking one of the most HOLY nights of MY year. :) (i guess my "boys" aren't quite THERE to getting me a solstice gift yet...and that is totally ok)

every year we make our solstice wishes and fold them up and tuck them into little felt star ornaments my best friend marci made for us...mine came true this year! yay!

all my shopping is done done done, everything is wrapped, everything that needed mailed to points hither and thither are mailed. the baking is done (except i have to dip the buckeyes later on) and i am just looking foreward to everyone opening everything and being pleased and filling their bellies and loving each other and then battening down the hatches for the cold cold winter and the bright, hopeful new year. (i even have the bottle of champagne chilling already...i am ON IT!)

i have a little monkey wrench every year at this time of year with the anniversary of the death of my dad. (and the subsequent funeral and shit getting beaten out of me and my life going off into THAT orbit for 10 years) but i am kinda an old pro at it and it doesnt seem to be bothering me as much as it used to. ( i am too busy with children and LIFE to be bothered with DEATH i think)

but the thing that has stuck out for me this year that i thought i would sit and write about (and i really really really wanted to handprint a draft of this first...but i have wanted to write a draft of it for several weeks now and haven't) is the ONLY aspect of CHRISTmas that i can relate to (besides the magi, and that is pompous haha) and that is the HOMEBIRTH part of the story.


but the part about the mother BIRTHING the baby in a barn thing.

i coulda done it...and have, practically...THAT is the part that is most HOLY to me.

this sunday woulda been the PINK CANDLE advent sunday, if i were into that sort of thing, and it is the ONLY sunday of the year i kinda care about (in the CHRISTian calendar). i remember when i was a girl it was the only time anything female was really talked about in church...besides whores getting stoned to death and women making dinner and serving men and all that....(oh, and my favorite one...gnashing their teeth and putting ashes in their hair...i LOVE that)

so light a pink candle and honor all the mothers who do the modern equivelant of Oh Holy Night on their bathroom floors, against their bedroom doors, on dirty ground and in funny little wading pools and bathtubs all over this planet.
(and even the ones who do it in the hospital who maybe, just maybe, can be convinced before the next baby to try something sacred)