i have, as we all now know, and i no longer mamby pamby dance around the mulberry bush about, rather alternative views of the world around us, and spirituality and religion, in particular.
this year, i have still listened to the CHRISTmas song channel, because something about me loves CHRISTmas music, but not so much really, this year, because it just feels like repeated propaganda about bethlehem and holy nights and pa-rum-pa-pum-pum over and over again.
and if not that, then jingle-rock-baby-the rednosed-snowman.
but, no matter how you slice it, i still call it the CHRISTmas tree and CHRISTmas eve.
we had a lovely little solstice get-together last night, jonathan bastian and i. (the babies went to bed, but fred got to eat the solstice cookies) i made chicken and noodles and we put the tree up to light the lights and welcome the sun. sebastian received The Wandmaker's Guidebook, a neat little book that he has been inseperable from. jonathan got a pewter wizard pendant necklace on a black leather strand. me, i got the joy of knowing that i was again marking one of the most HOLY nights of MY year. :) (i guess my "boys" aren't quite THERE to getting me a solstice gift yet...and that is totally ok)
every year we make our solstice wishes and fold them up and tuck them into little felt star ornaments my best friend marci made for us...mine came true this year! yay!
all my shopping is done done done, everything is wrapped, everything that needed mailed to points hither and thither are mailed. the baking is done (except i have to dip the buckeyes later on) and i am just looking foreward to everyone opening everything and being pleased and filling their bellies and loving each other and then battening down the hatches for the cold cold winter and the bright, hopeful new year. (i even have the bottle of champagne chilling already...i am ON IT!)
i have a little monkey wrench every year at this time of year with the anniversary of the death of my dad. (and the subsequent funeral and shit getting beaten out of me and my life going off into THAT orbit for 10 years) but i am kinda an old pro at it and it doesnt seem to be bothering me as much as it used to. ( i am too busy with children and LIFE to be bothered with DEATH i think)
but the thing that has stuck out for me this year that i thought i would sit and write about (and i really really really wanted to handprint a draft of this first...but i have wanted to write a draft of it for several weeks now and haven't) is the ONLY aspect of CHRISTmas that i can relate to (besides the magi, and that is pompous haha) and that is the HOMEBIRTH part of the story.
not the GOD CAME TO EARTH IN THE FORM OF A POOR BABY BORN IN A MANGER blah blah blah part.
but the part about the mother BIRTHING the baby in a barn thing.
i coulda done it...and have, practically...THAT is the part that is most HOLY to me.
this sunday woulda been the PINK CANDLE advent sunday, if i were into that sort of thing, and it is the ONLY sunday of the year i kinda care about (in the CHRISTian calendar). i remember when i was a girl it was the only time anything female was really talked about in church...besides whores getting stoned to death and women making dinner and serving men and all that....(oh, and my favorite one...gnashing their teeth and putting ashes in their hair...i LOVE that)
so light a pink candle and honor all the mothers who do the modern equivelant of Oh Holy Night on their bathroom floors, against their bedroom doors, on dirty ground and in funny little wading pools and bathtubs all over this planet.
(and even the ones who do it in the hospital who maybe, just maybe, can be convinced before the next baby to try something sacred)